


All the Best People Are

by EveryDayBella



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alice in Wonderland, F/M, Fluff, Hatterward, Hurt/Comfort, Madness, sweetward
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-19 01:48:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2369933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EveryDayBella/pseuds/EveryDayBella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella collected broken things that no one else would give a second look at. When one night she pulls a man in a too big hat into her shop she sets her feet on the path to an adventure that has her questioning her very reality. Maybe, just maybe, all the best people are mad. A Twilight and Alice in Wonderland rift. E/B</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken Lost Things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AngelycDevil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelycDevil/gifts).



**AN:** Hello all!This is the first chapter Angelycdevil's birthday fic. She's impacent, I'm impaceint so I'm starting just a little bit early. I don't think she'll care too much.

Muches love to myherion for beting for me!

* * *

**Chapter One**

Broken Lost Things

My mother was fond of telling anyone who would listen that I collected broken things. There was the kitten when I was three. The turtle I found crossing the road when I was nine. On my fourteenth birthday, I tried to adopt an abused horse. I was always showing up on the doorstep, covered with mud, and carrying some poor creature that had been left in the cold.

When I was twenty-one, I was making the rounds through the pawn shops in the little college town I lived in. I found a broken cuckoo clock. It's bright paint had faded and the veneer was tarnished. It no longer made any noise, but the broken thing still had a spark of character in it. It's still hanging in my living room. Everyone hated it but me.

He reminded me of that clock the first time I saw him. His clothes were old and worn. They looked like velvets and the style was ancient. His coat nearly blushed the dirty sidewalk. He wore a tight waistcoat, and his shirt collar was unbuttoned. A scarf hung loosely around his neck.

He kept pulling on his fly away hair, an odd color so red and so bright, it was nearly orange. His other hand was fisted around a top hat as worn as the rest of him.

People on the street took out of the way paths to avoid him. He never seemed to notice. He just kept muttering and walking. He was soaked by the constant rain. I could see him shaking as he pulled that coat tighter around himself. In the warmth of my shop I got little gusts as the door opened and closed. It felt like ice.

As he started by my door, the same compulsion I felt for all lost things came over me. He was cold, wet, and likely lost. That wasn't a reason to shun him by any means.

I shrugged into my own jacket, braced against the freezing rain, and went outside.

"Hey, hey you." He didn't seem to turn around and acted like he hadn't heard me. "Excuse me? Mister?"

I reached out and to grab his sodden sleeve which, got his attention. He turned around, fixing his startling green eyes on me for just a second. In that split moment, I saw the madness swimming in them, and I understood why no one would look at him. It was frightening, majestic, and enough to you want to run away with your tail between your legs.

If you just looked a little deeper, however, there was more than madness in his gaze. There was sadness, worry, fear, and the echo of something else, something wonderful and free. Even more than the madness that took my breath away.

He didn't stay focused very long though. His gaze bounced, never settling on any one thing for very long. It was always moving, always changing. He never stopped muttering either. It sounded something like, "Must find her. Must find her. Must find. Must find. Must find."

"Hey." His eyes flashed to my face briefly before wondering again, but he at least stopped muttering. "Why don't you come with me. You can get warm and dry up?"

He didn't make any move of his own, so I tugged on his sleeve. He followed, one step after the other, as I lead him through my door. I sat him on one of the dainty chairs and went to make him some coffee.

He looked a little macabre sitting there in my bright candy shop. It made him look even more tattered and worn. He shook as he dripped water on the tile. That old fashioned top hat, which had likely once been very elegant, feel into the puddle on the floor.

"Why don't you take off that coat?" I offered, stirring sugar into a styrofoam cup of coffee. "You'll dry a little faster."

The man, eyes never still, managed to get the heavy coat off. He was still wearing a dinner jacket underneath, but I didn't figure it was worth taking another article off him. I did take the velvet coat, which weighed a ton, and hung it on the hook by the door. I noted briefly that the velvet might have originally been bright violet. It was an odd color to say the least.

I placed the coffee in the front of him, but he didn't seem to notice. He'd begun bouncing his knee, moving in quick, jittery movements. There was something about him. He'd definitely lost part of his mind, but there was method to this madness, an intent that I couldn't quite place my finger on.

For the moment he, was shaking with cold and dripping water on to the floor. First things first, I had to figure out who he was.

"What's your name? Do you know it?"

He met my gaze for just a moment, and then bit his lip. After a while he started muttering again.

"Name. Name. Name of a prince, a king, a reporter. A just guard. What did they all call me? They said I had small fingers perfect, for pulling needles. Don't tangle up the thread…"

He stopped, smiled, and said in a clear, crisp voice, "Edward. My name is Edward."

"Well, its nice to meet you, Edward." I smiled and offered my hand. "I'm Bella."

He stared skeptically at my hand while his eyebrows scrunched up over his eyes. Slowly and carefully, as if he were trying to remember an action not used on years, his damp, cold fingers wrapped around mine. "Bella?"

"Yes. That's me. I own this store."

"Bella? Bella. Girl with a pretty name is a pretty name. The flowers would be jealous. Bella should stay away from the flowers, or they might try to poison her."

Nonsense. Nearly every word from his lips was nonsense, but it was endearing in a way. It wasn't threatening, or at least not until the end, and even then it didn't seem like he wanted to hurt me.

"Edward, do you remember where you're from?" His face grew more confused. "Where is your home?"

His eyes grew dreamy, and his voice a barely heard, heavily accented whisper. "Home. The forest. My forest. The flowers, the twisted trunks, the droopy limbs. My home. Need to go home."

Edward was growing agitated. He started rocking, fingers grabbing onto his hair and beginning to pull. I had to get him refocused before he exploded. Though, he seemed nice, I had the suspicion that his mood could turn on a dime. "Okay, Edward, how did you get here?"

He became fully still, even his ever roaming eyes were fixed on a point somewhere behind my shoulder. "The looking glass." He whispered reverently. "I walked through the looking glass. Every door was opened and I came through this one. It's too straight though. Too still. It doesn't bend. It doesn't move. I don't like it."

He was tugging on his hair harder than before. His eyes bounced and the tapping of his heavy boots was stucco rhythm on the floor.

"Edward? Edward." Green eyes, overflowing with desperation briefly met my own. It was enough connection to keep him focused. "Edward, it's okay. You're safe. Just focus me alright? Right."

He stilled, but I noticed that he drew into himself. His shoulders hunched as he curled into himself. A sympathy pang in my chest made me want to reach out and hug him. He was lost and reality probably scared him. If I could just get the right information out of him, I could find his home. Someone out there had to love him.

"Edward, do you remember how you got here?"

He didn't answer for a long time. I knew that it would just make him anxious and a few customers walked in. While I helped them, Edward sat in his chair furtively watching the two kids bouncing around oohing and awing over the collection of candy. Thier parents glanced sidelong at Edward and stayed as far as away from him as they could. I was tempted to kick them out for rudeness, but I needed their business, so on they stayed.

When it came time to pay, the littlest boy had picked out a white stuffed rabbit. It was only as they were walking out that I noticed Edward had wandered over to a display case and had a similar white rabbit in his hands and was staring at it with intent. One long finger traced the ear, the eyes, the nose.

When he spoke again, it was soft and mournful. "I followed the rabbit. It was clean and it called to me. Then there was falling, and growing, and shrinking, and burning, and red, and hearts, and crying, and lavender, and weeping, and always always always always always the turning."

The more he listed, the faster he got until the words tumbled from his mouth in a rush that could barely be understood. He stopped suddenly and shook his head. When he spoke again it, had an edge sharp as a blade.

"No. No. No. No. That was the long before. It's not right. Mustn't remember. Mustn't remember. It was to cold. Supposed to be warm. Supposed to be safe. I broke the promise. So many promises. I didn't want to, but I had to do it. Had to walk through the glass. Had to find her."

I crept closer and realized that there were tears sliding down his cheeks. Whoever he had lost, whatever he had lost, it had broken his heart. It was likely the cause of this psychotic break he was experiencing.

I couldn't stand to watch him in so much pain. I touched his arm just above his elbow. I didn't think he would react well to a hug, but I wanted him to feel me. It might have helped to anchor him at least.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. What did you lose? Tell me and I'll help you find it."

He looked again at the stuffed rabbit. "My daughter. I lost my daughter.

* * *

**AN:** Okay, so meet Hatterward. I'll explain more about the inspiration for this fic on Twifey's birthday. In the mean time enjoy!


	2. Promises and Promises Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I just wanted to say thank you for reading. Hopefully you will love Hatterward as much I do. Oh and squishycuddles to MyHerion01 for fixing my commas.

**Chapter Two**

Promises and Promises Broken

 

 

Over the next two weeks, Edward went through stages. Some days he was so morose and depressed that I kept a constant eye on him in case he did something stupid. Other days he was a maniac, and he'd bounce around the shop like a rabbit. I could hardly keep up track of him those days.

After about two weeks, he started to mellow out. There was still madness in his words, eyes, and actions, but his moods were less extreme.

It was only at that point that I felt comfortable letting him out of the shop, and that was only after I convinced him into some new cloths. Fortunately, a long gone boyfriend had left something behind that fit him. There was only two things I couldn't make him get rid of—the faded purple overcoat or the shabby hat. The hat was never out of his sight. He even slept with it. I didn't understand the fascination with it, but I didn't argue either. If it kept him focused, then fine.

The first place we went was to city hall. After hours digging through the city archives, Edward was too stressed and agitated to continue. We had found nothing. He didn't remember a last name, so we and the cleric that helped us had to dig through reams and reams of files.

In the end though, we found nothing, and Edward's mood was getting worse. He was sullen, testy, and his syntax, not good at the best of times, was worse. His riddles were down right mean by the times we got back to the shop. As soon as I opened the door, he disappeared inside the store room.

Knowing that he needed space, I opened up the store. He never came down.

That evening I finally went up the stairs in the back room to my apartment. One room with an odd collection of furniture and broken things. The oddest of them sat in front of my fireplace, glaring and pouting at the flames.

His hat was on the armrest while he drummed the top with his fingers. Since he was slouching in the chair, I knew the fire in his soul had gone out. He was still prickly though. I would have to be careful with how I approached him.

"Edward?" He acted like he hadn't heard me. "Edward, have you eaten anything?"

He shook his head woodenly. That wasn't surprising. Getting Edward to eat was a chore. No matter what I put in front of him, he claimed it wasn't "wonderfully flavorful."

I pulled pancake mix out of the cabinet and reached for the oven knob as I told him, "We'll try again, Edward. You have to be out there somewhere."

"No. No. Beautiful Bella doesn't get it. It's not her fault. She can't possibly know it. She can't see." Edward sneered, his beautiful face twisted into a mask of pain and anger. I'd learned that he didn't how to control his emotions and took them out on whoever was close. It stung, but I was the only one who was truely around him all the time. I didn't believe that he meant to be.

"What don't I get?"

"Can't be found," he muttered darkly. "Nothing to be found. It's been too long. Doesn't matter. I need to find her."

It wasn't the first time his daughter had come up. There had been days when I could barely keep him still and from rushing out the door. I was loath to let him go. He could barely take care of himself. I suspected that his daughter had been taken away, which had lead to this, whatever this was.

That didn't mean that I didn't understand him. He clearly loved her, whoever, and wherever, she was. He would talk sometimes as he slept about how much he loved her, about how sorry he was that he lost her. He couldn't remember her name, but he called her His Flower. I knew from the rest of his mutterings that it likely lead back to her real name. I was going to help him find her, but we had to figure out where he was from first.

I left the kitchen cabinet and went to kneel in front of his chair. I was unsurprised to see the sheen of moisture heavy on his eyes. Edward didn't cry often, but it explained why he's bad mood had clung so long.

"Edward." Softness usually worked better with him. It settled him enough that I could talk to him and hopefully get some real information. "It's okay. I'm going to help you find her. I promise you, but we need to find where you're from first. We'll go back to the courthouse tomorrow and keep looking. I won't give up, and neither will you."

He shook his head, the ends of his shaggy hair falling into his eyes. I had to fight the urge to brush away the curls. He needed a haircut.

"It's not going to work. It can't work." He spoke through gritted teeth. "I stepped out wrong. I wasn't supposed to be here, but the trail lead here, and I need to find…"

His eyes turned from the orange fire to my face and for the first time I was scared of him. His green eyes glared with madness and anger. They were livid. If felt like they had a physical force pressing on my chest. It was terrifying and just a bit exciting.

"Promises." He growled. "Promises. Promises. Promises. You make promises and then you throw them away. Poof. Away the grains of sands. They don't mean anything. They get broken. Always broken."

Edward pounded his fist on the arm rest with a loud smack. I jumped. I was tempted to reach out and make sure he hadn't hurt anything, but I didn't know if he could handle touch at the moment.

"It'll be okay. You just have to be patience."

"No. No patient. I need. I need. I need her. I need home."

The anger faded out of him and the depression came in. One big tear fell down his face. I reached up to brush the wetness away and gasped when he caught my fingers in his own. It was the first time that he'd ever instigated touching me.

He blinked slowly before staring wide eyed at my fingers. He turned my palm over and used his other hand to trace the lines he found there. He smirked, which caused his crazed eyes to gain a whole new level wildness. They didn't scare me anymore.

"You're lines are weird." He giggled.

"Thanks. I think."

"It's a good thing." He winked and I lost a little bit of air in my lungs by the sheer beauty of it. "My Flower has weird lines, too."

The melancholy settled back in, but it didn't bring the frustrated fire with it. It was just empty and that broke my heart more than the fire.

"We'll find her, Edward." I stared right into his wide, scared eyes. At that point it didn't matter that I suspected that he lost his daughter to the government. He clearly needed her, or to at least know where she was, and if that she was okay. "I'm going to help you find her, Edward. I know you don't believe me, but I promise I will."

He smiled sadly and his eyes went back to wandering the lines on my palm. "I only don't believe you because I've broken to many promises myself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Theories? I'd love to hear them!


	3. Of Course I Came

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Okay everyone, IT'S ANGELYCDEVIL's BIRTHDAY! I love this girl so fucking much. You have no idea. Happy birthday lovely and enjoy the chapter. *smoochies*

**Chapter Three**

Of Course I Came

 

 

Edward slept on my couch. He didn't seem to mind. He didn't sleep very well anyway. When he did sleep, he twitched and muttered. For the first week I slept very little, both because of the noise, and because I was afraid he would try to leave and then get lost.

After a while though I got used to it, and since he didn't try to leave, I stopped worrying about it.

That night though, after I fell asleep, I was the one who was tossing and turning. I couldn't seem to find a good place and I woke up at least half a dozen times. About three in the morning, I rolled over and hit the light on my clock. The alarm would be going off in a few hours and I felt like a wreck. Between Edward and running the store, I was exhausted.

I was trying to clear my head when I realized something was wrong. It was far too quiet.

"Edward?" He slept so lightly that even just saying his name should have woken him up. Instead there was nothing, not his near constant mutterings, not the creak of the couch as he moved. It was like he wasn't even there.

_Oh God._  He wasn't even there.

With my heart hammering in my chest, I leaped out of the bed and ran to turn on the lights. Sure enough, my couch was empty. There was nothing even there to prove he existed.

"Shit." I quickly pulled on my shoes and grabbed my car keys. "Shit. Shit. Shit."

I searched downstairs and found his velvet coat gone and the front door unlocked. I was still cursing as I pulled on my jacket and rushed out the door.

Anything could have happened to him out here. He could get mugged, he could get lost, someone could pick him up and they wouldn't be as kind as I was. Edward didn't belong in a jail cell or an insane asylum. He wouldn't hurt anyone. He was just looking for his daughter.

There were no obvious signs of where he went, so I went out to the back and got my car. Five minutes later, I was driving slowly along the streets looking for any signs of my mad man.

Only there was nothing. It was like he'd disappeared. After a half an hour of fruitless searching, I pulled into the parking lot of a Waffle House that looked like it was still open.

"Excuse me?" The young waitress didn't even seem surprised at my appearance. "You haven't seen a man in here, have you? About this tall, wearing a really long coat, and he should have a hat. A top hat."

"Isn't that a little outta fashion."

"Yeah, it is." I snapped. "Have you seen him or not?"

She shrugged and I wanted to strangle her. "He walked by outside."

"Which way did he go?"

She pointed, and I ran back out to my car. I didn't know where he might have gone after he left the dinner, but it was a direction and that was better than nothing.

I was twitching as much as Edward did. My head was overflowing with all the things that could have gone wrong. I barely knew the man and I already felt responsible for him. He needed a home, and as strange as it seemed, I cared for him. He was sweet, broken, and deserved a chance to be put together.

I nearly breathed a sigh of relief when I found him. I almost missed him. He was sitting at the mouth of an alley, head in his hands and his hat a few yards in front of him, turned over like it had been thrown.

"Edward!" I screamed as I screeched the car to a stop and ran to him. I fell to my knees and pulled his hands away from his face. "Edward, are you okay? Are you hurt? If you need to go to the hospital, just tell me and we'll take care of it."

"You came for me?" His voice was hoarse and his face felt wet like he'd been crying.

"Of course I came for you. You didn't think I'd come? I wouldn't have just left you alone out here."

"Why?"

He looked so sad. I was beginning to suspect that he'd been kicked his whole life. I vowed to myself that I would be the exception. "Everyone deserves a chance, Edward. Some of us deserve a lot of chances. Whatever happened to you, its not the end. I'm not going to abandon you, and I know you don't believe me, but I promise, no matter what, I'll be here."

Wonder joined the madness in his eyes and a small smile graced his lips. "Are you a fairy?"

"What?"

"Right." He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. A pained look replaced the wonder. "No fairies here."

I cupped his cheek in my hand, brushing his high cheekbones with my thumb. It seemed to ease the pain there just a tad.

"Edward, what are you doing here?"

"Was trying to find," Edward muttered, pulling his knees tighter into his chest. "The place has to be here. Where I came through. She was supposed to be here. She has to be here. It has to work. It needs to work. I need her. I need."

He was becoming agitated and distraught, which meant that if I didn't calm him down he would run again. "Edward. Focus. Focus on me. It's okay, alright? We're gonna find her, but you can't keep running."

He nodded, and it was clear he'd reached his breaking point.

"Come on, Let's go home."

He nodded and stood up. Before coming to the car, he knelt and picked up the hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So, surprise you're getting two chapters today! Chapter 4 will post later tonight. ;-)


	4. The Hatter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Okay so here's the story, Angelycdevil started watching Once Upon a Time. I got fed up with listening about it (and I was bored one night) and started watching it too. Now no one told me the Mad Hatter was in or I would have watched a long time ago. Needless to say, we both developed a love for Sebastian Stan that borders on our love Robert Pattinson. It only made sense that one night rewatching Hat Trick for the fifty billionth time the two would merge and become Hatterward. The rest as they say is history.

**Chapter Four**

The Hatter

Against all odds, Edward grew more stable as the days went by. We were still looking for any records of him or his daughter. On the upside, he was finding it easier to focus. His emotions were still extreme, but he could control them better. He still had a long way to go.

We'd established a routine, which probably helped. In the morning we got up and went down to the city hall to go through records. When Edward got too frustrated with that we went home. He usually stayed upstairs while I opened the shop.

My customers got used to the change in schedule, but my paycheck was having an issue.

I was scowling over my pay book and computer, and didn't realize Edward had come down. I jumped when he asked, "What's wrong? Opps. Sorry."

"No, It's fine. You just startled me." I tried to forget my stress. Edward would feed off my emotions and he was already frustrated from not finding anything this morning. "What did you ask?"

His wide, concerned eyes were at my eye level as he leaned on the counter across from me. "Are you okay? You looked unhappy."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just losing money out the wazoo and I've worked so damn hard for this store. If I lose it now, then I don't know what I'm going to do." I smiled sheepishly and blushed under his intent gaze. "It's not a big deal though, are you okay?"

He nodded slowly, his eyes surprising steady as they never left my face. "No, I'm fine. I don't like that you're upset. Is there anything I can do? I feel like you've been taking care of me without me helping you."

I blinked in surprise. It was the most articulate I'd ever heard him. I didn't know if it would last, but I could appreciate it. I reached over to squeeze his hand. "You're sweet, but I really don't mind. I just want you to get better."

His pale cheek turned the lightest shade of pink. It was adorable, and my heart fluttered in my chest. I wouldn't have said he was happy, but he was functioning and it was good to see. "I know, but I can't find My Flower and I'm trying to be patient like you said, but it's hard."

He choked up when he mentioned his flower. I understood, he needed a distraction. I didn't think he could help me with the books, but I could find him something around to help.

"Come on. I need to some of the candy jars filled."

Edward very carefully placed his hat on the countertop. I didn't miss the unspoken message.  _Please take care of it._ It was a great deal of trust. It must have taken a lot.

After I showed him what to do, I went back to figuring out what I was going to do about the store. I had enough to keep it going for a couple months or more.

We worked for a while in silence. Occasionally, I would hear him mutter to himself. It was surprisingly nice not to be alone. I'd never been able to hire an assistant so it had always just been me in the store. It was different knowing that someone else was in the room. I wouldn't say I had been lonely before, but knowing that he was there made me feel connected. If I was being honest, it was something I could get used to.

Edward was still working when a set of customers came in. I noticed him stiffen. He hadn't been around a lot of people since I'd taken him in. I didn't really know if he was scared or just uneasy. I would just have to keep a close eye on him.

It was a mother and her two little boys. Angela and I were acquaintances, so we struck up a conversation while the boys oohed and awed over the bundles of candy and toys. They were just typical boys and were generally loud and wild. I didn't mind, but I noticed Edward shied away from them at first.

Slowly, he crept closer. It was like he was mesmerized. I wondered briefly if he was seeing his daughter in them.

Finally Edward took a few jelly beans out of the bin and made a show out of losing them up his sleeve and pulling them out of the boys ears.

The grin on his face was like a miniature sun. He'd captured the boys attention in an instant, not an easy task when surrounded by candy. I starred, more than a little dumbfounded. I'd never seen him so animated. So alive. It was stunning.

Angela and I continued talking and before long all three boys were pirates. They'd pulled out the foam swords, Edward had his hat pulled low over his eyes, and my store was their pirate ship.

Edward became the pirate captain, adopting a deep, guttural growl with his voice and a swish to his step. He looked a little maniac with that tattered top hat and mad gleam in his eye. You couldn't argue however that he knew how to play pretend and the boys loved it.

Angela finally got the boys their candy, gathered them up, and left. Edward put away the foam swords and dropped his hat on the countertop. It was only then that he looked at me and the life seemed to drain out of his face.

"What did I do wrong?"

"What?" I gasped in shock. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why did you look at me like that?"

"Because, well, you're amazing. Kids are in and out of this shop all the time, but I've never seen them have that much fun."

Edward's cheeks turned just a tad pink. "You and their mother were trying to talk and they were getting into trouble because they were bored. They just needed someone to play with."

"That's a special kind of talent, Edward. Thank you."

He nodded and went back to the candy bins to the candy bins. I cleared my throat, and he turned back around.

"Where ever she is, your daughter must miss you a lot."

After that the kids that came in and out of the store began calling him The Hatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I want all the theories!
> 
> Happy Birthday Twifey!


	5. Reading Between the Lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Muchos love to MyHeroin for her hand holding during this chapter. Feel better lovelie!

**Chapter Five**

Reading Between the Lines

 

 

"Are you sure you don't mind? We can tell them to stop if it bothers you."

Edward and I were cleaning the store. The subject of his nickname had come up, and I didn't want him to feel upset about it. I thought it was cute, but I wanted to make sure he was okay with it.

"I don't mind." From the ladder he stood on to clean the higher storage shelves he cast a furtive glance at his hat, which sat in its place on the front counter. "It helps in some ways."

"Helps? What do you mean helps? Has someone called you The Hatter before?"

"Um." He pressed his lips together into a thin line. I was too far away to read the mirror of his eyes. The tone of his voice wasn't always the best way to read him, but I suspected that he was hiding something. "No. No. No ones called me that before. It's just a good way to balance everything."

I had never had more trouble understanding him. He had a habit for speaking in riddles, but the answers were always somewhere between the lines. In this last round, no lines were even drawn. It was just confusing. Maybe he was really starting to lose it. "Edward, you're not making any sense."

His fingers began tapping an abrupt rhythm against the shelving. "Not making any sense. I can't make sense. Speak clearly, boy. Don't mumble. Stop day dreaming. Too much. Too much. Too much."

"Edward." He'd started the jittery movements again, and I was worried he was going to fall off the ladder. "Edward, come down here please. I didn't mean anything about it. I'm sorry."

He finally put both feet down on the floor. I rushed over to him, grabbed his shoulders and made him look at me. Pain rippled off him in waves and a hole ripped open in my chest at the realization that I had caused it.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it worse. I'm just confused and I want to know more about you. I'm so sorry I pushed you."

Edward blinked and stood frozen. An immobile Edward was just strange. I went so far as to cup his cheeks, just to reassure myself that he was still alive.

"Why?" he finally asked, voice thick and rough.

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to know me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Against my own volition, I started tracing the curve of his cheek, his chin, his forehead, and his beautiful, deep set eyes. I was both surprised and a little relieved when he nuzzled into my palm "Edward, you are the sweetest guy I have ever met. You might not remember everything about yourself, but I don't think that you're bad. You are so great with kids and you've been helping out around here, even though I told you you didn't have to."

"I'm." He croaked, cleared his voice and tried again. "I'm crazy, Bella."

"You're not crazy. A little broken perhaps, but its nothing that can't be handled."

He shook his head vigorously, shaggy hair falling into his eyes. "You don't get it. I'm crazy, Bella. I see things, only they're real. Sometimes I can't think straight. I need to be home. Home is peaceful, and I need My Flower. She's alone and it's all my fault."

I believed that he saw things and he thought that they were real. I'd figured out that out weeks ago. They didn't seem to affect him to much. He managed to focus fairly well and was mostly functional. The only reason that I wasn't trying harder to find his daughter was because I was positive that she had been taken away from him. I didn't know how he would handle that, or her for that matter.

"Edward, you are not crazy. So, you get a little tangled up sometimes. Who doesn't? The truth is that I like having you around here. I've been alone for a long time and you're kinda perfect."

"I don't scare you?"

"Just the once." I grinned. "I don't think that you'd ever hurt me."

"I wouldn't." He began talking so fast that the words nearly tumbled out of his mouth. "I swear I would never never never, ever ever hurt you. I swear. Everyone used to be afraid of me."

"Then they were wrong. Was anyone ever kind to you?"

His eyes took on a soft dreamy look, clearly a hundred miles away. "Tanya was never scared of me. She liked me."

I shoved down an irrational shred of jealousy that suddenly popped into my head. I didn't even know where it had come from. It wasn't like I had any claim to him. "Who was she?"

"She was my friend. She liked my woods, and she liked solving my riddles. I loved her."

"Was Tanya Your Flowers mother?"

He nodded slowly, still very far away. "She wasn't planned. She just happened. Best gift that I ever got."

A deep aching pain had sunk into his voice. I was beginning to suspect that something terrible had happened to Tanya. This poor man. I wasn't certain if anything good had happened to him in his whole life. No wonder he was so broken.

"I'm so sorry, Edward."

"We were happy." He shrugged.

I stroked his cheek as he came back to reality. He was surprisingly focused. His wide eyes were studying my face like he'd never seen me before.

"Edward, is everything okay?"

"You're really pretty."

"Yeah, I think you've said that before." I was suddenly hyper aware of how close we'd come. Just bare inches away. As soon as I was aware of this, then I couldn't not notice how close we were. He was fidgeting and everytime he brushed my skin by accident, I nearly jumped. On top of that, I found that I liked it. A lot. "Are you okay?"

He nodded and I realized how tall he was. I had to look straight up at him in order to meet his gaze. A glow of something pleasurable settled over my body. What was wrong with me? What was I doing? Why was he so close, and why wasn't I backing up?  _Last chance, Bella._

The next second I was kissing him. I couldn't tell who started it. I don't think it really mattered. As soon as his lips brushed mine, I was a gonner. I couldn't get enough. I grabbed his lapel to pull him down.

Edward stilled, shocked, before spinning around to pin me to the shelves behind us. He was everywhere, fingers twisted and pulling on my hair, arm around my waist, lips nipping and sucking my own. I used his neck to anchor myself. I couldn't believe I was doing this. I couldn't believe that I was kissing him back.

I could feel every long line of him, every muscle. My body was singing. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't even really think. It was just Edward, the smell of him all woody and spicy, the taste of him, the strength in his arms.

It was messy and chaotic, but damn if it wasn't the best kiss of my of my life.

Finally air took precedence over everything else. Edward swooped in for one more kiss. Then another, and finally a third, and I tried to follow his lips when he left. He gave a breathless laugh. "Bella, I…"

I snapped a finger over his lips before he could say anything else. "Edward, whatever this is, let's take it slowly, please?"

He bit his bottom lip before nodding.

It would take a long time for my overactive mind to settle down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp! so that happened.


	6. Playing Cards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Have I mentioned how much I love MyHerion? Seriously, she beted even though she'd been sick. I cannot with her! *tackle cuddles*

**Chapter Six**

Playing Cards

 

 

 

Attraction is a strange thing. Sometimes it hits you over the head with the force of a two by four. Like when you see a celebrity on the tv, and you just know that you'd climb that slip of a man like a mountain. Othertimes it comes along slowly, carefully, and it surprises you when you finally admit to it.

That's how it was with Edward. I didn't realize it until he kissed me that I had feelings for him. One of his rare magical grins was enough to send me to my knees. As I watched him play with the kids in his too big hat my heart fluttered in my chest. I craved his touch, his kiss, just the sheer pleasure of his company.

I was so screwed.

While Edward may have appeared put together to the outside world ,the truth was that he was still far from whole. He still spoke mostly in round about nonsense. He couldn't remember where he came from, or what happened to him. He was mad, absolutely off his rocker, and in no place to deal with the attraction that I was struggling with.

I groaned, resisting the urge to pound my head against the countertop. Why did I always have a habit of making things incredibly complicated? Edward needed my help to get back on his feet. He didn't need me to become sexauly confused about the matter.

Only I was. Dear God, I was so confused and turned on by him. We lived in a small place, it wasn't like I hadn't seen certain things. I wouldn't call him muscular, but he wasn't flabby either. He was lean, hard, and filled out in all the right places. The mad gleam that entered his eye when ever he put on the hat always seemed to send a jolt of pure lust through me so hard that I would have to grab something just to keep my feet under me.

I traced the brim of said hat with one finger. It wasn't a top hat like you would expect to see in pictures of victorian England or on Abraham Lincoln. While it was tall, it didn't come straight up. It had curves and bends. The felt was worn and thin in some places, but that also made it soft.

I wondered where Edward got it. Top hats were clearly no longer in style and hadn't been for nearly a hundred years. Maybe it had belonged to his grandfather, or great grandfather. I became distracted by imagining the grandballs and stories the hat might have been a part of.

I finally sighed and turned back to my playing cards, and nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw two big green eyes and a wide grin where they hadn't been before.

"Jesus, Edward! You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry." He waggled his eyebrows like a proper villain. He'd been much more playful since our little kiss. It was a nice change. "I noticed you looking at my hat."

I nodded. "It's odd. I like odd things."

That just made him grin wider. "It's very old, too."

"I noticed." Since he didn't seem to mind, I picked up the hat and studied the brown felt. "Do you know what color it was originally?"

Edward put his chin in his hands, forcing his mouth into an adorable pout. "It was red. Red as an apple. The sash was white. There was gold stitching on the brim. I was the only one who liked it. They said it was too bright, that it would clash with everything. So I kept it."

That was nonsense. There was no way that he saw this hat when it was new. It had to be at least a hundred years old, and he was only in his mid-thirties. "Well, I like it a lot."

With a smile, he slipped the hat out from under my fingers and placed it gently over my own head. We both laughed when it fell over my eyes.

"I think my head is a couple sizes too small."

"Needs to be smaller." He tilted it back so that the front rested on my forehead and I could see. He had this deep speculative look on his eyes. I wanted to say something, but I didn't want to ruin the moment either. He was oddly peaceful. "Your's will be blue. It would be pretty against your hair, your skin, your eyes."

"Mine? Do you know where to get another one?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, looked away, and whatever spell he was weaving was broken. I was disappointed. It seemed like he was on to something, and I knew better than to ask a question that was sure to have him clamming up.

Edward began fidgeting and I knew whatever it was that was on his mind was more important than just his hat. I didn't say anything. He would get to it in his own time.

"Bella, I wanted to ask you a question." He stumbled over the words.

"Okay, ask away. No such thing as I stupid question, I guess."

"Okay." The tips of his ears turned red. I had to fight the urge to giggle. I didn't want to make him any more embarrassed, but it was so damn precious. "Um, you see, I seem to remember when a man liked a woman, he asked her to spend the evening with him."

"Like a date?"

"Um, yes, a date. I don't think that was the word, but it works. Bella will you go on a date with me?"

I couldn't think. I could barely move. Did Edward just ask me out on a date? Edward and I, in the safety and comfort of my own home, was one thing, but out in the real world, that was completely different? I knew what he was, odd, broken, sweet, and wonderful. I knew what they saw in him, too. Weird, mad, crazy and I didn't care what they thought, but I couldn't picture Edward and I out there in the real world, like normal people. We had a lot of issues.

I tried to speak, but then had to clear my throat. I decided a joke was the way to go. "And how are you planning on paying for this date?"

His lips formed an absurd "o." I was surprised by the sheer force of my need to kiss him. "I didn't think about that."

"It's alright, but we need to talk. I guess we've been needing to talk for a while."

I watched as the life faded from Edward. He looked like a kicked puppy, and it was a terrible to watch. "Edward, stop. It's not that bad. There are just things that we need to discuss before I agree to this date."

Edward still looked weary and he wouldn't met my eyes, but he nodded all the same.

"Okay, then." I shook my head and forced myself to be serious and not shy away from the hard questions. "What about Tanya?"

Edward's eyebrows drew together in confusion. "What about her?"

"Well, what if she's still out there? What if she still loves you?"

"She's not. I would feel it."

It was a lame reason, but one he believed. "Okay, what about Your Flower?"

Here his face darkened like I'd never seen it. "I don't think she's real."

"What?" Edward was a lot of things, but a doubter wasn't one of them. He spent every moment he had looking for her. I'd even driven him around town a couple of times just in the hope that it would jog something in his mind. "What do you mean you don't think she's real?"

"I think I made her up." He began to pacing and pull out his hair. "I made her up because I was lonely and I needed something, so I created it. She's not real."

I started to say something, but then stopped. Edward was having a crisis of faith and I didn't know how to help him because I wasn't so sure that I believed it myself. I hadn't been able to find proof that he existed, much less a daughter.

There was something still nagging at me. Somewhere down deep in my heart, next to the part of me that was beginning to feel things for Edward, told me that his daughter was real and that wherever she was, she needed him.

"I'm sorry." He waved me off and tried to think about what to say, but there was nothing. So distraction became the key. "Where did you think about going on this date?"

He flashed his white pearly teeth, though the troubled look didn't entirely leave his eyes. "Leave that to me."

I grinned down at the cards that covered the counter to hide the blush that was creeping up my cheeks. "Then you have yourself date."

"Really?" his lips were against my ear as he pulled me to him.

"Yeah. A date. I can't remember the last time I went on one of those."

We stood there together, his arms around my waist. I could hear the steady thumping of his heart through his shirt.

"What are you doing?" He was staring quizzically down at the cards I'd been playing.

"Oh, its called Solitaire. You build a pyramid like this and then leave the bottom row turned up. You have to build decks of the different suits and you win if you can get rid of the whole pyramid."

I moved a card to the spade deck and flipped over the queen of hearts. Nothing could have prepared me for his reaction. Edward sucked in a shocked breath and his hand dug into my hip. Before I could do anything, he'd shoved the cards off the counter and to the floor with harsh, "No!"

"Edward?" He'd sunk to his knees, head in his hands, and was rocking back and forth. I tried to pull his hands away, but he was too strong.

"Red, red, red, red. Off with his head, the punishment mine. Gimme the hat or she'll turn up dead."

He repeated it over and over, until his voice became hoarse. Nothing I could say or do could bring him back to me. In the end, I could only wrap my arms around his shoulders and hope that he would come back to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So, yeah, that happened. Woops.


	7. The Visitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to starting picking up the plot. Hold on tight kiddies.

**Chapter Seven**

The Visitor

It was fair to say that Edward had regressed. Even after he calmed down from the playing card freak out, he never came back to himself fully. The muttering got worse, he went back to the furtive movements. He rarely met my eyes, never laughed, and, worst of all, he stopped talking to me. The curious questions, the late nights spent trying to unravel his riddles, and the ease of our companionable silences went away. Our date was never mentioned again, and it hurt to admit how much that disappointed me.

I tried everything I could think of to help him. I tried to distract him, I tried to confront him, I tried to give him space, but nothing worked. He wouldn't respond. The part of me that had begun fall for him hurt. It was sore like it had been hit a hundred times over by a metal rod.

I told myself that it didn't matter, but the truth was that I was in love with him. Even now, while he was moody and sullen, I loved him. I just wanted him to get better.

That was what drove me to Jacob. He was an old friend of mine and an a physiatrist. If anyone knew how I could reach Edward, he would.

Unfortunately, after telling the whole story to him, Jake seemed more upset about me than anything else. "You just took a guy in off the street? And you've been living with him for months?"

"Yes." I snapped, irritated that he was turning this on me. Jake was far too protective, always had been. It was one of the reasons we broke up. "I have, but Edward is sweet, kind, and generous. He wouldn't hurt a fly. Now tell me how to help him."

Jake sighed, pursing his lips in a classic best-way-to-deliver-bad-news face. "Bella, the man is clearly suffering a psychotic break and a classic case of Alice in Wonderland syndrome."

"Alice in Wonderland syndrome?" His nickname, the Hatter, came to mind.

"It's a neurological case. Those who have it feel detached from reality. They make their own. He's fighting it, which is why he's so disjointed all the time."

"So, he doesn't think that he's a character from the book, or something?"

"Doesn't have to be."

I sighed in relief, more glad than ever that I hadn't told him of Edward's fashion sense. I hated to think of what Jacob would make of the rudy old top hat. "So, how do I help him?"

Jacob was nerve wrecking quiet. I knew what that meant. It meant I wasn't going to like the answer. "Just spit it out, Jake."

"Edward needs psychiatric help. Real help, Bella." Jake's dark eyes told me everything that his words didn't, and my blood boiled in response.

"No. Jacob, no. I am not sending him to one of those places.. He is not going to suffer that way." I clammed up as the room seemed to drop ten degrees. I sank on to his couch and hung my head in my hands, trying to fight off the memories of stale white walls and pain.

"Bella?" Jacob's voice came through a tunnel. I was only barely aware that I was hyperventilating. "Bella, listen to me. Take a deep breath. You're okay. Breath again. You're in my office, not the asylum. Deep breath. You are going to be just fine. Just relax."

I regained control of my breathing, and then my shaking limbs. I fell back against the couch and tried to laugh it off. It came out as half a sob.

I didn't know Jacob had left until he was back and pressing a cool cup of water into my hand. "When was the last time you had a panic attack?"

"Um." I cleared my throat trying to talk and keep my emotions out of my voice. "About ten months."

"And you see why you and Edward living together is a bad thing? You're just feeding each other's crazy."

I wanted to argue. God only knew how much I wanted to disagree and prove how wrong Jacob was, but I couldn't.

"When was the last time you saw Dr. Snow?"

"I don't know." I snapped. "Four or five months."

"Bella, I'm not trying to hurt you. I can tell you care for this guy, but you can't save the world." I refused to look at him, because I knew I would see his deep, earnest, sincere gaze. It was childish, but I wanted this so bad. "You've got to take care of yourself and you can't do that while living with someone in even deeper shit than you."

"So what do you want me to do? Kick him out? Ship him off to one of those disgusting places? That would destroy him, Jacob. You have no idea. You've never met him. He is so honest and sweet. One of those places would wreck him, just as badly as it wrecked me. I can't do it."

"Just think about it, Bella. He needs help. More help than you can offer, I'm afraid."

I did think about it. I couldn't stop thinking about it. It dominated my every waking moment and most of my nightmares, too. I stood by what I said, no asylum. It would destroy everything in him. He would be nothing but a broken shell, staring at walls and drooling. I'd seen it enough in my time locked away in one of those places. I wouldn't let that happen to Edward.

He wasn't in a good place now and he wasn't getting better. I'd had my first panic attack in almost a year. I clearly wasn't enough for him either.

When I thought about him not being there, even in the demented shadowy form he was in now, my heart shattered into a tiny million pieces. I shyed away from that pain, which meant that I put off a decision.

All of these thoughts were swirling through my mind when the chime over the door broke through them. I sighed and tried to put on the best face I could. "Can I help you?"

The customer was just a little a single guy, which was unusual. Most of my customers were kids and their moms. To make matters even more confusing, he was wearing a sharp, grey pinstripe suit with a narrow green tie. His long, pale blond hair was tied back out of his narrow face and steel grey eyes. There was just a hint of southern drawl when he asked, "Excuse me, are you Bella Swan?"

"Yes, I am," I answered uncertainly. "And you are?"

"My name is Jasper." He offered his hand, and I shook it. He grip was firm, but controlled. When I touched his skin there was a feeling like electricity that shot up my arm. I yanked my hand away, already on edge without even hearing his bombshell. "I'm looking for someone. He might be going by the name Edward?"

If I had been a dog my hackles would have been raised. "What do you want with him?"

"I promise you, Bella, I mean him no harm." He held his palms up in front of him in defense. He didn't fool me though. I wasn't letting him anywhere near Edward. "I'm just here to help."

"Did Jacob send you? Cause if he did, I swear to God, I will call the cops. You aren't taking him anywhere."

"I promise you, I mean him no harm. And please don't call the police. I think their tender care wouldn't be very good for him."

"Who are you?" I didn't trust him, not by a long shot, but it seemed like we were on the same page at least.

"My name is Jasper. I am an old friend of his." I listened closer, trying to find anything to either conform or deny his words. "When I heard he was here, I came as soon as I could."

"If you know him, then where did he come from?"

"Somewhere very far from here." It was too invasive for my liking, but he held up his hands again. "I'm afraid we do not have time for that answer for right now. Has he mentioned his daughter?"

I considered for a moment not answering. I had no reason to trust him, but his wide, eyes were so worried that I gave in. "He has, but he can't remember her name."

"Cats eyes, he is more damaged than I thought. Oh well, nothing for it." He said all of this in an undertone before turning his attention back to me. "Her name is Jasmine. Don't tell him that until he figures it out on his own. When he does, give him this."

He handed me a plain white envelope. Inside was something clunky, but it wasn't terribly heavy either. "What is it?"

"It's just something that will help you find her." His eyes darted to the door nervously. "I've been here too long. I better go before they find me here."

He headed toward the door, and I rushed around to stop him. I wasn't going to let him go without answers. I'd been waiting to long for this. "What? Who the hell are you, and who the hell is he? Who is following you, and what the hell is going on here?"

Jasper only stopped and turned to me when he got to the front door. He turned his grey eyes on me, and I gasped. His eyes were slitted like a cat's. "Bella, when you see the White Rabbit, follow it. Don't look back, don't turn around, and make sure Edward has his hat."

I was so shocked that I didn't try to stop him before he slipt out of the door. This was too weird. First Jacob mentioned Alice in Wonderland, then this thing about the white rabbit and Edward being obsessed with an out of fashion hat. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together. I couldn't remember anything about the Mad Hatter having a daughter. That only made me feel a little bit better.

By the time I recovered from my shock and rushed out the door, he was gone. There wasn't a trace of him anywhere. It was like he just disappeared. The only proof I had that he had even existed was the crisp white envelope in my hand.

"Bella?" I spun around to find Edward leaning in the doorway.

"Edward, are you alright? You look like you've seen a ghost."

He was white as a sheet, which made the dark circles under his eyes stand out all the more. I reached up to put a hand on his forehead and found his skin warm and clammy. His eyes were huge and focused down the street where my interesting visitor had disappeared.

"Bella, I can't get it out of my head. It won't go away." Suddenly he looked down at me, eyes wide and frightened. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"


End file.
